If 2020 was the Year of Shopping Small and Social Distancing, 2021 is the Year of Gender Nonconformity and Dressing Nontraditionally. I’ve never been more happier or felt more confident than I have this year. While on break at a Lowe’s back in October, I talked to Maura about some outfit ideas. She saw how happy I was and said to me, “I really think you found yourself.”

So when did this gender nonconformity journey start? Around the summer of 2020 when I bought my purple bag and a pair of infinity scarves from Amazon. It took me a while to start wearing them to work because of how my coworkers might react. It didn’t go over quite as well in 2015 and eventually I gave up and got rid of my purses I bought from Amazon. Fortunately this journey has more staying power.

On my social media, I get bombarded with ads and one of them was for Coach. Combine that with the big Coach purse my coworker brought to work and I started to gain a huge interest in the designer brand. I eventually bought one in February and updated my wardrobe throughout the Spring. Even when sick and in the hospital I was fashionable. Fashionable 4eva 👗 👠!!!

I wore a nice outfit to Rob and Sara’s wedding. Her and her mother fell in love with my leopard print cardigan, hat, and my Coach purse. All of Sara and Rob’s friends were complimenting me too. Sara even asked me what the inspo was for me dressing nice. Some of it is the what but most of it is the who. At work back in August, Maura did crew briefing a little different asking us questions pertaining to how to count Lowe’s. I did one better and asked her “What my favorite brand of designer bag was” and “What (or who) inspired me.”

The dressing non traditionally has really taken off since the summer as the blog has really grown and the content has gotten better. I shop on Amazon but have started to buy clothes on Target.com. Here’s my leggings and a sweater dress that I bought in November.

On our last day at work before the changeover, I told Maura some things and I applaud her for being understanding. I told her that I came out as queer and she was really proud of me for admitting it. She and Ashley have been very supportive of me in this journey as are some of friends from high school who have read my blog. They’re always telling me, “Be You.” Rocco and his wife even have cheered me on in my gender nonconforming adventures in my fashion. My cousins have all been behind me in this adventure too.

Living my best life has taken a backseat until I got established at Giant Eagle but I think everyone is all right with it regardless. It’s hard when you have people who are old school who don’t get it. My gender nonconformity journey has been great and I’m not about to give that up because I made a few changes in my life.

My friends on Instagram have told me that I could inspire some people with my message. For example, Ragged Roots told me, “Don’t worry about the negative, just focus on the positive and be yourself. Not everyone will be on board but at least you are happy doing what you love and that’s what’s important!” Greensburg Live said this to me, “I wish people didn’t have to be afraid to be themselves. You could really help a lot of people.” What’d I say about being an inspiration?”

After Christmas, the journey continues. I have some cute bags in mind and another cute outfit in mind as well. Here they are.

Merry Christmas. Bye everyone. ❤️ you.

Tomorrow night I will reveal the #1 thing about my 2021. I’m excited to share what it is and I know some of you will too. Some of you may not like what I’ll post and that’s ok. Before I post 2021’s top event, I’d like to review the top ten from #10 to #2. I’ll also include some of the big omissions from the list that I included but just couldn’t find room for. This was a hard list to put together… no really it was. This year was the end of an era in many ways and I’ll hit on those points too. Without further ado, here’s my Top Ten of 2021 so far. Enjoy.

#10–Dinner, Disco, and Dancing—I got a dinner invite to my Toastmaster friend Sarah’s home for a night of fun. We had fun playing Catch Phrase. We then wrapped up the night with Sarah’s favorite activity, disco dancing.

#9–DTM Gala—This black tie affair held at Westmoreland County Community College was the same day as the girls’ wedding. Those of us who couldn’t run the gauntlet last year due to COVID finally got our opportunity. The fire alarms went off but that didn’t stop the dancing.

#8–Going to the Hospital—I went to the doctor to get a referral for a dermatologist so I could have my head cyst removed. It turned into a four day hospital stay. Health has never been more important to me than it is now.

#7–Katie and Matt Buy a House—My crazy Spring continues when my sister moves into her first home. It’s really close. It was the end of an era as my Grandma’s house went on the market and sold quick.

#6–Ten Years Toastmasters Strong—I celebrated ten years involved in Toastmasters. I’ve been to great places and visited many different clubs, netting me my Spirit of Toastmasters award in 2020. I’ll be joining Laurel Highlands Toastmasters in January.

#5–End of an Era—I looked back on 13 years of working at WIS and shared some of my best memories. I started my new job at Giant Eagle and I’m not complaining about the commute either. I celebrated Friendsgiving with Rob, Sara, and Rae the weekend before Thanksgiving.

#4-OMG I ❤️ COACH—I went shopping at Tanger Outlets and bought some Coach bags and a wallet. I went in feeling confident but window shopped at Kate Spade ♠️ to prepare myself. It’s my favorite designer brand of purse and it was my coworker who inspired me to buy one.

#3–Life Begins at 40–I had three celebrations for my 40th birthday. I celebrated with family at the Jean Bonnet Tavern. I had a fashionable lunch with my sister/fashion buddy at the Olive Garden. I capped off the weekend with a fantastic Fourth of July picnic that my mom put together.

#2–The Wedding—I got my invitation to Rob and Sara’s wedding after I got home from the hospital. It took me no time to RSVP. The ceremony was beautiful and the weather couldn’t have been more perfect for such a special day.

You may notice I omitted some other keynote events in my life. The Columbus Day weekend was one of the best as we celebrated our family reunion at Laurel Hill. The next day I really enjoyed myself at Ligonier Days and got to chat with one of my fellow Instagram friends (thebombshellsuite).

It was the end of an era for my family as my Grandma’s house went on the market and sold quick. Also, my parents and aunt retired from their jobs. My dad is working on becoming a bus driver for the Hempfield Area School District. Mom is enjoying being retired as is my aunt. It was also the end of the road as my company merged with its competitor, meaning major changes. After we broke the office up, I started planning my exit and it came in the form of a five minute commute to work.

#1 will be up tomorrow night.

A couple short but sweet blogs will be up in the next few days leading up to #1 which will be up Thursday night. I can’t wait to share what that is with you but if you view my Instagram stories you know what it will be.

Today’s blog is a Happy Birthday greeting to one of my FAVORITE 😍 people. Sara and I have known each other since 2008 when I attended church with her family. We saw a lot of each other until I left Greensburg Alliance for Cornerstone in 2015. We would reunite again in 2018 and our friendship since has never been stronger. We’re not just friends, we’re siblings. Actually we’re twins.

Sara has been a big supporter along with Maura and Ashley and my cousins when it comes to my gender nonconformity journey. She has been very accepting of me for who I am. She loves seeing me look very fashionable and she gives the thumbs up when I show her an outfit I want to wear; or, a bag I want to buy. Here’s a Lauren Conrad purse I’m interested in as well as a Juicy Couture purse.

Sara has been one of my inspirations when it comes to me dressing nice. Others who have inspired me include Rogelio from Jane the Virgin, Harry Styles, Hunter Schafer (Sara introduced me to her), and my former coworker Emily Swager (I think Sara would really like her and the girls). Sara and I always look amazing when we’re together. Paula always tell me that we’re have to help her pick out some nice clothes eventually.

I’m grateful for all our experiences this year. Being invited to her and Rob’s wedding, having coffee at Abigail’s (I wish we’d have seen more of each other when they lived in Ligonier), and of course Friendsgiving last month with Rae and Shannon. Oh, and lunch at the Olive Garden for my birthday. Plus all the get well wishes when I was sick and in the hospital.

Happy birthday fashion buddy. I’m so proud to call you family too.

I got the invitation right after I came home from the hospital. I was one of the first to RSVP. I was one of the few non-family members to be invited. Oh wait.

“You’re family. Of course you’ll be there.” That’s what Paula told me.

May 15 was the big day. It was a year in the making too. Rob and Sara’s actual wedding was May 16, 2020, but because COVID was going strong, they couldn’t have a big ceremony. Therefore they had pictures taken at Twin Lakes. A year later, this weekend was going to be very special and, I’m glad I got the invite.

I’ve had a special relationship with Paula and the girls since 2008. We met when I was attending Greensburg Alliance Church. She’s always said we’re family and the girls have always loved having me around. Sara sometimes forgets that we’re actually not related.

Our friendship (I never want to call it that because we’re like siblings to each other… more like twins) took a break but got stronger in 2018. Sara was working at Old Navy (it was her first job) and I bought some jeans while I was there. We caught up and both of us were going through some storms ⛈ in our lives.

I met her and her new husband Rob for dinner in December 2020 when they were living in Ligonier. We ate at the Tavern and the time there was well spent. I was just breaking into gender nonconformity carrying a bag. Enough backstory though. Let’s cut to the chase and talk about the Newsom wedding.

The wedding and the reception afterwards were held at the Westmoreland Country Club. The big day was finally here and the weather couldn’t be any more beautiful than it was on Saturday. This after the chilly Mother’s Day weekend. It was a perfect Spring day for the most part with sunshine and a few clouds.

After a short ceremony that included a great speech by the mom of honor/best mom Paula, the wedding party got some pictures and we socialized. The cutest little flower 🌸 girl ever (Ula) did a great job as did the Mighty ring 💍 bearer.

We then assembled into the ballroom and welcomed the bride and groom and their party. It didn’t take all of us long to reunite. I was seated at a great table near the wedding party. I got to know Sara’s brother in law Bill and Uncle Scott a little bit better. Rae came over and thanked me for coming (first time we’ve seen each other in ages). We also talked Bob’s and Target. Like Maura, Rae also loves Halloween. I think these two would get along great.

Paula thanked me for coming to the wedding and raved about me to everyone there. Her and Sara did their mother-daughter dance. They were trying to emulate the father-daughter dance Rogelio and Jane did when she married Michael on Jane the Virgin. They didn’t but that’s ok. I’d have loved to see that though.

During the reception, we’re all outside and everyone is having a great time (drinks and all). I’m decked out in my leopard print cardigan and hat, which Paula and Sara have fallen in love with. While getting a picture with Sara and her friends, she asks me what the inspiration was for my outfit and my inspiration for dressing nice. One of their friends also got a few pictures of me with the bride and groom. I think that picture of us is the best picture of 2021.

By now my health had improved from where it was a month and a half ago and both Paula and Sara had seen it in me. I began to head out as the sun began to go down. What a beautiful end to such a magical day.

I wasn’t at this next wedding but two of my former coworkers also tied the knot this past summer. Maura and Ashley were also planning to have their wedding in 2020 but that too was wiped out due to COVID. They had their wedding on July 24 (the night of my DTM gala at WCCC). Like Rob and Sara, they too had a beautiful outdoor ceremony.

I enjoyed seeing all the pictures that they posted on their Facebook pages as well as the video. The girls (as we always call them) honeymooned in Hawaii. We heard all about it when they came back on Aug. 8 when we had a 7-11.

I’m thankful for my friendship with the girls, as well as with Rob and Sara.

Bye everyone. ❤️ you.

Last week I caught up with the girls (Maura and Ashley) on Messenger and let them know how I was doing. They said they missed me and the subject arose on me coming back again . I let them know that things were going well at Giant Eagle. Maura told me that I had a spot on the Pittsburgh-Dollar crew at WIS if I ever wanted to come back. I told her I’d keep that in mind.

If anything it’s a nice fallback plan should Giant Eagle not work out. Things are great right now and we’re heading into our busiest week of the season. I talked to my mom and I do miss my friends at WIS but the best advice for me right is to stick with the Eagle. It’s convenient for me as I’m five minutes from home plus I’m guaranteed forty hours (for now). Don’t know what January and February will hold yet but I’m confident I’ll be in good shape.

This isn’t the only time I’ve struggled with staying at my current position, going back to what I was doing, or applying for something else. Let’s go back 20 years to the Spring of 2001.

I just completed my first semester at the community college and did very well. I was planning to take some summer classes while continuing to live at the Hiram G. Andrews Center. But I missed my friends at HGA and wanted to go back there and take their accounting curriculum. The difference between the programs is that the college is more theory, while HGA is more hands on. My OVR counselor and my friend told me that if I go back to HGA there’s no going back from it.

I stuck with my original plans and continued to attend the Community College. It worked out as I was able to transfer credits to Slippery Rock University a year and a half later and enroll there. I began my courses at the Rock in Fall of 2003.

If I go back because I miss my old life, I might miss out on a great opportunity.

Another time I was in this situation was during my time at Kings. Let’s go back to Christmas in 2006. I’m a few months into being employed by Kings and I hated my life. I thought to myself, “I have a little work experience under my belt”. I looked ahead to the WestPACS job fair in March. Then in 2008, I just wanted to get the hell out of there and contemplated going back to school. I got brochures from CALU and had two majors in mind. I was even going to set up a campus visit.

The WestPACS job fair in March 2007 was a bust. I was in over my head. I applied for a sales position at Bankers Life but it wasn’t going to pan out. Sales isn’t really my strong suit. I’ve been back to a few job fairs since but became comfortable with working at WIS and stayed there 13 years.

I was talked out of applying at CALU in September 2008 because I still had the loans to pay back from Slippery Rock and there was no way OVR would helped me anyways. That didn’t stop me from trying again in 2011 and once again I even scheduled orientation. But once again I backed out. It took me more than a decade to get over my funk. I become more content after 2013.

I didn’t really need to apply for jobs that weren’t for me; or, go back to school for a degree that wasn’t for me. I just wanted to get out of jail.

While the offer is there to go back to WIS, make it a fallback plan. Don’t do it because you miss your old life. Don’t tank Giant Eagle either to go back. You may just miss a golden opportunity.

Best advice is to just stick with it.

I completed my third week at Giant Eagle and have a busy one starting tomorrow night as we stock up for the Christmas holiday. It seems like I’m starting to have a better understanding of where things are in the store and continue to enjoy the team I have to work. However there are a few bad apples in the bushel. But that can be found anywhere. I know that from 13 years working at WIS. As I continue to work there I’m finding ways I can improve my production. Am I in it for the long term? I’m not sure yet but we shall see.

I had my appointment with my cardiologist on Wednesday. It went well. My blood pressure is lower than it’s ever been (130/80) and I had the doctor discontinue some of my medications. One of the current ones I’m taking is a stronger dose and I was put on a new brand of medication. I will need to have blood work done twice before my next visit in April and have an ultrasound done on my kidneys.

I caught up with one of my fellow WIS coworkers on Wednesday as well. Maura reached out to me on messenger and asked how I was doing. It’s been a month since my last inventory. They have had very little work on the Dollar side over the last few months. I know I wasn’t working much and my days I did work were very short.

Everyone wants me to come back. They upped the starting rate for counters and drivers as well. Maura said they would gladly take me on the Pittsburgh-Dollar side if I ever wanted to come back. After our conversation, it did get me feeling nostalgic for WIS again. It made me feel good that Maura, Ashley, and Mike were asking about me.

Would I come back… again? That remains to be seen. I’m not sure what January and February hold for me as the hours at GE will be reduced. I’ve had a taste of freedom being five minutes from home. There would need to be factors that come into play. I would rather drive a van to stores that aren’t close and, I want to know I’m getting good hours (30 a week at least).

Honestly, I do miss wearing my colorful WIS shirts every day. I miss looking fashionable every day at work. I also miss it because I was getting comfortable with my gender nonconformity there and I don’t want to lose that after working so hard to find myself and be happy.

Gender nonconformity is staying and I’m slaying 🔥 🔥 🔥. No matter where I work.

I’ll close off the blog with a picture from our work Christmas party a few years ago. I talked about it in my Stylish Christmas Party blog.

2021 was a milestone year for my family. A lot of us have turned over a new decade in our lives. My cousins and I all celebrated our big 4-0, my oldest cousin turned 50 in October, my aunt had her 60th in September, and my uncle and his cousin (and my mom’s) turned 70 in October. We commemorated the 20th anniversary of 9/11 and the 80th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. My grandmother would have had her 90th birthday next week. It’d be too cold to celebrate at Twin Lakes like we did for Great Grandma so we might have done it at Olive Garden, Rizzo’s or Persichetti’s.

The Fourth of July weekend was my weekend to celebrate my milestone year. That Wednesday before the holiday I turned 40. Celebrations were being planned. My cousins love the Jean Bonnet tavern in Bedford and I was asked if I wanted to come here to celebrate my big 4-0. I gladly agreed to it. We met at my aunt’s house and spent a few hours in downtown Bedford that afternoon before dinner. It’s beautiful but everything closes early. In addition it was raining while we were en route. I did to see where Bedford Springs was located and I think I’d have enjoyed this part of the trip if we got to see Fort Bedford or take a nice drive around Shawnee State Park (it was too wet to take a walk around the lake that day).

We met up at the Jean Bonnet Tavern with my uncle and my two cousins early in the evening. We had a nice big table waiting for us in the main dining area. I ordered the loaded potato crisps as my appetizer and a raspberry margarita for my drink. For dinner, I had the chicken parmigiana with a house salad. At the end of the night before heading home, I got to see the goats 🐐 and my cousins fed them but I was a little bit squeamish to do the same myself.

The day before I got a text from my sister/twin/fashion buddy. She wanted to make plans for us to get together for lunch. Sara and her mom had a birthday gift for me. We agreed on having lunch at the Olive Garden in Greensburg (we wanted to do coffee at White Rabbit or breakfast at Sun Dawg but both places were closed). Sara tagged me on Facebook wishing me a Happy birthday and it brought me to tears.

We met for lunch at Noon. She greeted me at the door and got us a table. Very sweet of her. We ordered our food and enjoyed each other’s company. We were dressed fashionable as always. I wore a pastel blazer and T-shirt with jeans and she wore a dress. We also talked about work and of course, fashion. Sara saw me with my Coach purse and said, “Coach should hire me to promote their product.” We had a great lunch and a wonderful time together. She gave me my gift bag and I loved everything she and her mom put together. I also loved the birthday cards and posted them on the blog.

There was a third celebration on the Fourth of July. My mom had my cousin Katie and her family up to celebrate the holidays and my birthday. It was the first time Patrick and Henry would be visiting and they would have the opportunity to swim in our pool and jump on Annabelle’s new trampoline at her new house. Mom made enough food to last us a week. Meatballs, sausage, watermelon 🍉, Mac and cheese, and plenty of drinks to go around. It was perfect weather for swimming, which is what the younger ones all did. After we ate, I showed off my Coach purses to my family. I would do the same thing at our family reunion in October.

We ended the night and the birthday weekend by watching the fireworks from Katie and Matt’s new place. This weekend I turned 40, and I felt fabulous, fantastic, and fashionable. From the looks of it, I enjoyed every minute of it.

It’s been a while since I posted a Toastmasters News and Notes blog as I’ve been busy with other blog content. I’ve also embarked on my job search during the month of November with much success. I’ve since landed a part-time job at Giant Eagle and I’m getting established there.

Toastmasters International launched its first club in West Virginia in 1949 when the Wheeling Toastmasters club chartered in March. The East Central part of the state was next when it came to seeing interest in Toastmasters. District 13 was known as the Keystone District and the formation of the Reading Toastmasters would keep that theme intact. They’d get support from clubs in Philadelphia and Wilkes Barre, primarily locally.

The Pittsburgh club started doing demo meetings in 1949, at the time a new PR campaign. They’d speak at other meetings about what Toastmasters has to offer and what the club does. It’s kind of like the alliance that Toastmasters International and Rotary have today.

The beginning of Evaluation contests took place in 1949. This coming Spring Conference in 2022 is having that contest to go along with the International Speech contests. The different levels of contests took a lot longer in 1949 than they do now, starting in September and going until March.

That September saw Philadelphia charter its second Toastmasters club, the Quaker City Toastmasters. The first club is called Philadelphia’s First. The formation of Quaker City Toastmasters gave the clubs an opportunity to work together and ensure continued growth and success for the new club.

Toastmasters then came to Beaver County as the Beaver Falls club chartered. While Beaver Falls is no longer around, the Beaver Toastmasters honors that legacy by being the premier Toastmasters club in the area.

Back in February, I went on the best shopping spree of my life so far. After work, I had plans to drive to TANGER Outlets in lieu of a nice bag to take with me when I go out. I was also going to stop at Old Navy and Bath and Body Works. I arrived in Washington just before Noon. I wasn’t far that day therefore I planned well. So far my shopping trip was going good. Now it’s time for what I came here for.

It was interesting how I pulled this off. I grew a little nervous as I made my way to Coach. To prep myself to shop here, I window shopped at Kate Spade ♠️. They too had some nice purses in the window. I walked into the Coach Outlet very confident, looked for the perfect bag, and made my purchases. I got a tote, crossbody, and a wallet. I walked in there eating cake 🍰.

The city tote and pink satchel have become my favorites. There’s definitely more Coach in my future. I do have some Lauren Conrad purses in mind at Kohl’s, as well as the Juicy Couture line at JCPENNEY. I’d love to find a leopard print bag sometime on my retail adventures. I love this color from Lauren and I think I answered my question on the leopard print bag. Perfect for a trip to NYC?

It’s my favorite brand of designer bag, but where exactly did my interest in Coach come from? What (or who) inspired me to buy one of my own? Finally, what’s the messaage that comes from this experience?

Back in the summer, I started carrying a bag around at work and when I went out. At first I hid it so no one would make fun of me or look at me differently. Eventually I brought it out more and really no one has said anything. Even one of my managers has shown interest in my purple bag. Even if on Amazon it says it’s for females only, that hasn’t phased me. Like Sara has told me, “Fashion is nothing to be ashamed of.” 

My interest in Coach came from:

1. That same girl who wowed me with her pink sundress a year earlier on that overnight trip in Ashtabula. Back in September of 2020, she’d come to work with her big Coach purse.

What or who inspired me to buy one of my own Coach purses?

2. Emily gave me inspiration when I saw her with her cute Coach tote. She could even fit her leather jacket in there. That, along with all the ads I saw on social media for Coach. Put two and two together (and the support of my fashion buddy and her momma) and you have the inspo I need to buy one of my own.

What’s the message that comes from this experience?

3. When I approached Sara about buying a Coach bag and felt awkward about buying it in store, she gave me these words of wisdom. “Aww don’t be embarrassed. Be proud. Fashion is nothing to be ashamed of.”

It’s been a driving force behind my gender nonconformity journey this year. My friends and old coworkers have all given me compliments on my bag. I care less and less on what others may think and that says a lot about them. Be you. Do whatever makes you happy. Own who you are. There’s nothing more beautiful. Lastly, don’t let others shame you. Lastly, fashion is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bye everyone. ❤️ you.

Last night I made a special trip out past Youngwood to see the phenomenon known as Larry’s Lights. This was second time getting to look at it as I went last year with family two days before Christmas. We didn’t get out last year due to COVID, but I got out and walked around the property tonight. It was very colorful and the displays were amazing. But what’s the inspiration behind Larry’s Lights and what about the causes that he supported?

The Christmas light display is in honor of Larry Wilson. He started putting up lights at his house in 1994 when lived in Harrisburg. His displays won numerous awards. He was known as Mr. Christmas.

He did it because he enjoyed seeing the delight in people’s eyes as they saw his display. Also, Larry was an avid dog lover and believed in helping animals in need. He retired in 2013 and moved to Greensburg. He passed his display onto his family.

Larry passed away on 2019, so his family decided to display all his lights that were still usable and expand the display in his honor and memory. They would then decide to raise money for his favorite charities and continue to spread his Christmas joy and spirit.

Here are some more pictures I posted from this evening’s visit.

The two charities that the display raises money for are the Top Dog Therapy Team and the Youngwood Dog Club. The first one is a nonprofit that does various acts for the community. They take time visiting nursing homes and schools to spread joy and comfort to the community. Larry Wilson owned a therapy dog (Bella) and was very proud of her. The second one has a Puppies in Need fund that assists in emergency pet care.

There’s a mailbox at the home of the display which has a direct link to the North Pole. Every letter each child sends is answered by Santa 🎅 with a personal message. If you want to donate to Larry’s cause, 100% of the proceeds go to these charities that I mentioned.

Parking is available across the road (strongly recommended on weekends) or in the driveway (during the week).

I wish I’d gone earlier as I would have had opportunity to see Santa on his sleigh (for photo opportunities) as well as the Grinch. They were there from 6 to 7.

If you get a chance this holiday season, I recommend checking out this amazing display and supporting some great causes.