I’m going to celebrate a big milestone this week when I publish my 400th blog post. I knew I would make it here one day, but the trip hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been difficult to come up with content much less find a device to write my content on. For the majority of the time I’ve been on this platform, I’ve been sending my blog posts from my phone as well as my tablet. I’ve been meaning to cut down screen time on my phone and I thought sending content from my Kindle would help address that issue but it hasn’t. When I was gifted with a laptop from my cousins, I knew it would be a big turning point for me.

I started blogging regularly under The Slippery Rock Toastmaster name in the Fall of 2019. Some of my favorite posts from then include the ones I wrote when I was struggling to hide the fact that I had a crush on a coworker at my old job. When I deleted this blog and opened my present blog in January of 2020, I took a few of those posts and put them on there. Since opening my platform as the Stylish Traveling DTM in January of 2020, I’ve undergone a few name changes and I think I’m going to change this once more to match my Instagram handle.

2020 was the year of starting over, after we were hit with the COVID-19 pandemic.

What was so great about the last year meant nothing after the pandemic put us on lockdown. Things like social distancing, hand sanitizers, and six feet apart became household terms. I had no choice but to start over. That year was devastating to a lot of people, places, and businesses. It taught us to think about what was most important in life. I got too overconfident after launching the blog and flamed out as 2020 went on.

2021 was a year of new traditions & routines in my life. An eventful year, for sure.

If there’s one word that sums up my 2021, it’s this. Change. From my health to my job, to turning over a new decade of my life, change was a constant for me. As for the blog, I continued to struggle with content early on but began to really catch fire once Summer came. I began to invite people in to my new lifestyle as I became non-binary.

My “sister” and fashion buddy got married and I was invited to the wedding. I had the best birthday of my life as I turned 40. My parents started the next phases of their lives as they retired from their jobs. Before all that, I dealt with a health scare that could have been tragic if not taken care of.

I left my job of 13 years and it was for the best. I walked away from the church because I didn’t feel comfortable being non-binary in that setting. However, I’ve been making a comeback. I published my 300th blog post at the end of the year. I hoped to build off that success as 2021 ended.

2022 taught me to love and accept myself.

I adapted to change in 2022, from my job to the rising cost of gas. I didn’t have my community to fall back on, and almost abandoned completely my gender nonconforming ways. My cousin came through and gave me some words of encouragement and everyone else began pulling for me. I would eventually come back around.

I dealt with mental health issues and depression in 2022, which were brought on mainly because of me and my insecurity and overthinking things. The new job and routine took some getting used to as well. I regressed with the blog because I felt I didn’t have much to say and also, because of limited resources. Despite my struggles last year, 2022 would end well.

Conclusion

2023 has been great so far and that break was just what I needed. There have been a few disappointments but I’m working through them. Taking one step forward and three steps back taught me something better would be coming.

I’m more dedicated to the blog this year because I’m able to budget my time more efficiently. Having a laptop helps too, and that also opens up other avenues as well.

I’ve overcome various roadblocks to reach this milestone. For that I am proud, and it’s only going to get better.

Today’s Self-Care Saturday is coming to you… on a Sunday.

I’ll be talking about mental health and sometimes, you just need to take some time for yourself, hence these self-care blog posts. You may put your heart and soul into helping others and never feel like helping yourself nor do you have the time for it. Eventually, you’re working too hard and burning yourself out. That eventually takes its toll on you and that’s why mental health is important. Reward yourself, sweetie. You deserve it.

Jonathan Van Ness of Queer Eye fame really preaches self-care on the show and that in turn has an impact on your mental health. Of course, his thing is all about making the hero look pretty. All the experts besides Jonathan are all about helping that person better themselves and what they do helps that person improve their mental health and well-being.

Here are five steps that you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing. (Credit to https://www.nhs.uk)

1. Connect with other people

Good relationships are important for your mental wellbeing. They can:

• help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth
• give you an opportunity to share positive experiences
• provide emotional support and allow you to support others.

I did that today by tagging along with my mom and visiting my aunt and Ben at Children’s Hospital. My cousin is dealing with some health issues and is on a long road to recovery. We even got some fresh air outside for a few minutes and were greeted with a few more surprise visitors.

2. Be physically active

Being active is not only great for your physical health and fitness. Evidence also shows it can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

• raising your self-esteem
• helping you to set goals or challenges and achieve them
• causing chemical changes in your brain which can help to positively change your mood.

Starting this week, I’m going to get on a regular exercise routine to improve my physical health by going to the gym a few times a week and going for a walk as the weather allows me to.

3. Learn new skills

Research shows that learning new skills can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

• boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem
• helping you to build a sense of purpose
• helping you to connect with others

Even if you feel like you do not have enough time, or you may not need to learn new things, there are lots of different ways to bring learning into your life.

I took up learning a foreign language last year when I downloaded the Duolingo app on my phone. I originally started out by learning Spanish. Now, I’m teaching myself French, Italian, and German.

I’ve been working on this blog since the beginning of 2020 and have been writing long before that.

I want to get back into photography now that I have a laptop I’m able to store my pictures on.

4. Give to others

Research suggests that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental wellbeing by:

• creating positive feelings and a sense of reward
• giving you a feeling of purpose and self-worth
• helping you connect with other people

It could be small acts of kindness towards other people, or larger ones like volunteering in your local community.

In the past, I’ve volunteered with another local church for Operation Christmas Child, a ministry that sends shoeboxes full of toys and other gifts to less fortunate children at Christmas. We fill up boxes of 15-20 shoeboxes each and load them onto a truck that delivers them all over the world.

5. Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness)

Paying more attention to the present moment can improve your mental wellbeing. This includes your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you.

Some people call this awareness “mindfulness”. Mindfulness can help you enjoy life more and understand yourself better. It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges.

Today’s fashionable Friday segment is short and sweet. I’ll be talking about activewear, as I will be setting sail on staying physically active in 2023. While my shopping adventures didn’t net much success in store, I think I’ll have more success shopping online this weekend. I’m fine if I plan to go out at some point this weekend, but I want to stay well stocked anyways.

My original plans were going to take me to Going, Going, Gone, and then out to lunch. I even attempted to get a food blog out today as well at Hello Bistro. Unfortunately some stuff came up.

Also, I wasn’t really feeling up to it as the voices in my head were kicking my ass the last two days. But, I was able to cheer myself up watching another episode of Queer Eye. The Fab Five never fails to uplift me after a day of feeling down about myself. Also, Hello Bistro (likely the Monroeville location) will be on my list for a future ‘James the Food Slayer’ food blog. Stay tuned.

So my plans to stay active include making time to run on the treadmills at Planet Fitness, as well as exercising my core muscles. I haven’t been going there since before COVID so it’ll be nice to finally make use of my membership there. It was hard to make time because of my WIS schedule in the past.

I’m in the market for more sweatpants, maybe a sweatshirt to match. I also want some comfy pants to lay around in, or for walking around the park while I listen to my playlist. The possibilities are endless.

I do have a few pairs of sweatpants and track pants, but I’ve had those a few years, and want an upgrade. Nothing wrong with treating yourself. Regardless of what I end up buying, I’m ready to get a regular exercise routine underway and really begin to feel good about myself physically again.

My self-care Saturday post is coming, but first an important announcement.

We’re closing in 400 blog posts next week, and that calls for celebration. I’ll be off next Saturday and have plans to eat out and do a restaurant review as part of my James The Food Slayer segment. People read my reviews to see if that’s where they want to go for a meal, and I’m always happy to help in their choice of restaurant. You may have remembered this as Stylish and Hungry and while I loved the name too, I had to go with something more hip.

And now, on to my feature presentation.

This was a not a good day to be outside unless you really loved the cold. The sun may be out, and I’m trying to make more opportunities to be outside when the weather is a little nicer, but not on a frigid day like this. It’s amazing how the weather has an impact on your mental health.

Beginning next week, I’m going to take time to commit to my physical health. Whether that’s a 45 minute workout running on the treadmill or exercise my leg muscles, or a two-and-a-half mile walk around the lake, it’s time to show my body some love. Not that I didn’t pay attention to it before. I’ll put some gym time on my schedule.

I’m in the market for some new amazing activewear and plan on visiting Going, Going, Gone in the near future for some great deals. They have locations in Monroeville and on McKnight Road.

Some of the benefits of physical activity are that it helps lower blood pressure and decreases the risk of heart disease. I had a health scare back in 2021 and was hospitalized for four days. My blood pressure was off the charts and it was imminent I was going to have a stroke or heart attack if we didn’t address that concern. Fortunately, I was prescribed medication to keep my blood pressure under control. My last visit to the cardiologist was a good one.

Physical activity also helps to promote positive mental health. I was down for most of 2022 because of events that unfolded the year prior and those took a toll on my mental health. Leaving a job after 13 years and co-workers who became family; not feeling like I was supported in my non-binary journey; and trying to figure out a new job and work schedule took its toll on me. But you have to go through the rain to see the rainbow, and that’s exactly what happened. This past holiday season turned out better for me than the last two, and I have more support on this journey than I realized.

While I do get out for a walk or go the gym every so often, I feel my attention to detail has been sporadic and that needs to change. It needs to be more of a set schedule. This can be hard with work and my involvement in Toastmasters but it’s easier than it looks. It’s all about time management, confidence, as well as behavior and head knowledge.

It’s like Dave Ramsey’s stance on winning with money:

What to do isn’t the problem; doing it is

Can you believe we’re already at the end of the first month of 2023? For us that means we’re closer to Spring and longer days with more light and less darkness. In Toastmasters it means contest season is getting underway as speakers prepare to represent their clubs in the area competition. For me I’m getting closer to my beach vacation in Delaware in June.

This segment is a rewind of some of the highlights of the past month. To avoid making this blog long winded and for the sake of time, I’ll use my rule of 3s and highlight those three things that stood out to me for the month. That will make it easier for me when I go to work on the Top Ten of 2023 in December.

New Year’s Resolution? Reading the classics.

We have our resolutions we make when we wipe the slate clean on January 1. Lose weight. Eat healthier. Save money. Be nicer to our family. By the 15th, we’ve reneged on that promise to work out and are eating fast food (part of our busy lives I guess). We’re trying to save money, but have to pay off those bills from the holidays. Being nice to our family? Well you can pick your friends but not your family or in-laws.

My New Year’s resolution? I love books. While past reads have been sports or politics-related, I decided to pick up some of the classic novels. I picked up the works of Jane Austen and Shakespeare and will focus on those in 2023, along with The Iliad and The Odyssey, and the Nutcracker. I’m also reading Michelle Obama’s latest book.

The blog has made a big comeback.

I fell back on posting content to the blog because all I had to post content on was my phone. My cousin Katie, who has her own blog, learned of my dilemma at the family reunion back in October. At Aunt Sue’s New Year’s Eve get-together, her and Brendan gifted me an old laptop which was converted into a Chromebook.

The laptop has been a godsend for me. I’m going to purchase a webcam so I can attend virtual Toastmasters meetings and events via Zoom, plus I can play CD’s (if possible) and upload pictures from my camera. I’ve added some new segments to the platform like Fashionable Friday and Self-Care Saturday. I’m closing in on 400 blog posts next month and, if I keep up my content, an even bigger milestone this Fall.

Like 2022 Never Even Happened

2022 was supposed to be my year as I was building off the highs of the year before. I was growing the blog and I started to find myself when I came out as non-binary. But big changes also happened that year as I left my job of 13 years and came over to Giant Eagle. I felt I was losing my support system that I had in place at WIS. I struggled for most of 2022 with my feelings and wondered whether or not coming out was the right thing.

The latter part of 2022 read a lot like 2019. I was in charge of my happiness and success and not as dependent on other people’s opinions. January made it sound like the past year didn’t even happen. I didn’t feel depressed, nor did I second-guess myself. I got out more (the mild weather had something to do with that), spotted joy in everything I did, and was able to manage my time well. I still had my share of bad days, but the good outweighed them.

I look to continue building off that positive energy as we begin February.

History/Backstory

At the time that I’m posting this blog, another Kings Family Restaurant has bitten the dust. According to TribLive.com, the Allegheny Township location closed on Sunday at 2 p.m.. That leaves the beleaguered family restaurant chain with five locations remaining, and doubt as to whether the chain will make it through 2023. Open stores left include Hempfield Township, Canonsburg, Franklin, Kittanning, and in Ohio, Wintersville.

I posted about Kings when the Delmont location closed in April of 2021. I worked at that location out of college, so the closing hit me very hard. I posted six things about the location, three facts and three things I could have done better.

Yesterday morning, I was hungry for some country fried steak and eggs, so I decided on eating breakfast here.

Service

I walked into the location around 8:30 yesterday morning. There was a Valentine’s Day tree set up in the vestibule. I was greeted with a smile and my server took great care of me. She poured my coffee and took my order quickly. It helped that I knew what I wanted as it made her job easier.

I’ve eaten at this Kings many times and I remember some of the servers from long ago. A few came over from New Stanton when it closed and that helped this location as well as the Frownie. One of the servers from my old store was working there too and she always does an amazing job.

My food came just as quickly as I ordered it and my server made sure I was satisfied. I’ll give service an outstanding grade of A+. I tipped her well too.

Menu

The menus have changed over the years and some things have come and gone. But the selection is still pretty good, regardless. The prices, yes they’re high, but times are tough and the company is trying to remain afloat with the stores that remain open. Judging by the other options they are trying to compete with other chains as well. Cookies n’ Creme pancakes and Nashville Hot Chicken are what’s cooking in 2023.

You have some great breakfast and lunch options available. The Wake-Up breakfast is still a choice, as well as the egg bagel and K-Boy and other craft burgers. Nothing like it used to be though. Soups on the menu include Beef Vegetable and Broccoli Cheese and dinners include Meatloaf and their cod or hand-breaded fish dinner, as well as Chicken Parmigiana. Their famous hot apple pie which was on the menu back in 1967 is still a choice if you have room for dessert.

Grade: B-

Quality

I was very satisfied with the quality of my food. The cooks did an excellent job preparing it. Everything looked good and it filled up the plate. I wasn’t asking myself, “Where’s The Beef?” Coffee was very filling too. I’ll have to come back and enjoy a fish dinner, meatloaf, or hot turkey sandwich because I might not have much time left.

Grade: A

Summary

I made the right choice for breakfast and it’s nice to see that Kings is still operating, albeit with a skeleton crew of stores. The staff loves their work and it breaks my heart to see what this chain has become. I really wish Hartley would have kept it in the family but it is what it is. When you look at Eat’n Park and compare Kings to them, there’s a reason why one is doing better than the other and I really can’t explain it.

It’s official, we’re down to a handful of locations and, if I’m guessing right, Hempfield and Canonsburg will be the last ones to close.

This is one of my favorite segments that I’ll be posting on this blog. Here I’ll post my outfit of the day and my amazing Fashionwear. To highlight my Fashionable Friday I’ll take you with me on whatever journey I’m on. It may be a coffee date, Toastmasters event, or a Target run. I want to share my story with all of you while I continue to learn to love my story.

If I’m preaching to the choir I’m sorry. When I’m out somewhere and dressed up, I feel like myself and feel confident. Do I worry about the past and being bullied for being me? Yes. Do I worry that my family failed me (or I failed them)? Sometimes. If I’m happy and doing good in life then that’s all that matters.

Here are the keys to the game when it comes to my non-binary journey and this segment.

Self-love is key in my journey.

Last year after I came off the highs of 2021, I fell down. Actually, I fell right around Christmastime. I was starting a new job and felt like I wasn’t getting the support I needed for my journey. I was without a church home for the first time in 21 years and still am today though my faith is a little stronger than it was a year ago at this time. I was hiding my true self from my parents and almost walked away from my gender nonconformity altogether. Everything I worked hard for in 2021 I almost gave up in a split second just to please people.

I turned it around in the summer after spending time with my family at the annual Fourth of July picnic at the farm. I broke down to my cousin about all that happened in the last year and we both shed tears. Her husband lent both of us tissues and she gave me some very encouraging words. More importantly, I started to learn to really love myself.

Eventually, everything turned around and I was back to being my authentic, beautiful, unique self. I still struggle at home with my fashion (though my Mom has turned a corner) but feel confident when I go out for coffee or off to my meetings. If people want to say stuff, let them. It shows character when someone acts the way they do.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

You’ll see a lot of pictures on these posts and I believe they tell the story more than what I write. As the old saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words”.

The top two pics were taken in beautiful October weather at Twin Lakes and the Ligonier Diamond. The bottom photo was from last night. I’ve also been watching videos on Instagram on how to pose for photos. How you do it makes all the difference between stylish and frumpy.

I was hoping to get one of me doing one of those poses and pointing at a storefront or the casino entrance. One of these days I’ll collab with a photographer and we’ll get some great headshots.

On Wednesdays I wear pink.

My friend and second momma Paula (Mason) always tells me I look amazing and wishes she had my fashion sense. My sister and fashion buddy Sara (Newsom) told me at the beginning of this journey, “Fashion is nothing to be ashamed of” and to “Be Proud”. The classic line from the movie Mean Girls may just become one of my mantras, plus I’ve ordered more pink now so I can practice what I preach.

Reading my Queer Eye book last night and listening to Fashion Expert Tan France wax style has given me even more inspiration. He, Antoni Porowski, and my boy Jonathan Van Ness aren’t afraid to go to the other side and wear what makes them feel comfortable. Tan suggests trying things on before I buy them. I risk it because I fear people will look at me weird for buying different clothes.

When in doubt I just keep these two words in mind.

“Be you.”

It may be hard to believe but we are on the last day of the month already. 2023 is going by so fast. January has seen me grow where I didn’t in 2022. I’m still making mistakes and getting in my own way but I’m starting to realize it’s on me and no one else. I’ve begun to evaluate my choices and give myself feedback (like in Toastmasters when we evaluate speeches and projects). That bodes well as we turn the calendar tomorrow to February.

While I want Phil to not see his shadow and have an early Spring, or my team to win the Super Bowl, it’s best to focus on the things I can control.

What do I want out of February?

I plan on eating out when I have some free time so I can post about my experience on the blog. One breakfast/brunch review and one lunch/dinner review. Look for my first review some time next week.

When the weather’s warm I would like to get in a walk at one of the state parks (Keystone most likely). Going against the flood of people making New Year’s resolutions, I want February to be about physical fitness and so I’m going to make trips to the gym and keep track of it. These will make for perfect upcoming Self-Care Saturday segments.

I have some new Spring outfits planned and they’ll be here soon. I want to put my Old Navy gift cards from Christmas to good use and put them toward some new jeans. I’ll do try-ons and post pictures on an upcoming Fashionable Friday segment.

I plan to watch season 6 of Queer Eye and wrap up that series and start season two of Bel-Air. I also plan to go back and finish The Office starting in March and continue reading my Office books and listening to the podcasts.

Finally, I’ll be publishing my 400th blog post sometime in Feburary. I plan to celebrate with a trip to Going, Going, Gone for some new activewear, as well as dinner at a place TBD sometime in March.

Let’s check off some items on the list and hope for warmer weather, as well as celebrate ourselves because every day is a gift.

Welcome to the first of many posts on Self-Care in my new segment on the blog, Self-Care Saturday! I’ll be highlighting the many ways that you can give yourself a “me” day and take care of yourself. You work hard all week and you have a household to take care of and bills to pay. Give yourself a break and I’m not talking about with a KitKat bar, though there’s nothing wrong with a snack to keep you moving.

Self-care is not always just about having a spa day with the girls, yet it can be as simple as a walk around the block with your best friend or even opening that book you just bought at the local second hand bookstore. Second Chapter Books trip anyone? I made a New Year’s resolution to start reading the classics, so I picked up a set by Jane Austen as well as the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. Right now I’m reading Sense and Sensibility.

I’m also reading my Queer Eye book that I got for Christmas and learning great ways to pamper myself and style my clothes. I also have Michelle Obama’s latest book which has a bookmark with her likeness in it. I have plans to read Homer’s works this Fall, as well as the Nutcracker when the holidays begin to approach.

In the past, I’ve read all kinds of books covering a multitude of subjects. Jeff Pearlman is a great sportswriter, covering topics from Walter Payton and Brett Favre to the Lakers of the Showtime Era. I’ve read books written by former NFL head coach Tony Dungy including Uncommon and Quiet Strength. I just mentioned I’m reading Michelle Obama’s latest memoir. I recommend you also check out Becoming. I got that book as soon as it came out and read it within a month or two.

Take five minutes and read a chapter in the Bible from one of the Gospels or from Proverbs or Psalms. A future Self-Care Saturday blog post will focus on attending church.

Self-care is not just about putting on that moisturizer and making yourself feel younger, but also feeding your mind. It’s also whatever you want to do that will help you feel relaxed. You can make yourself a cup of coffee and work on that latest blog entry. Hey that’s what I’m doing right now.

In my previous blog post I talked about what will be covered in this blog. Those of you who have been with me before know I do restaurant reviews. You’ll get those posts two or three times a month when I’m available to get out. However I’m adding two other segments to my blog.

Fashion is one of my main interests and I have a great sense of style. I am inspired by Harry Styles and Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness and Tan France because of their flamboyant and fluid way of dressing. Beginning next week, I will doing a Fashionable Friday blog post (as well as one on Wednesday called “On Wednesdays I Wear Pink”) where I post my outfit of the day, talk about other interests, and look ahead to what’s coming up.

My favorite stores to shop at are Old Navy and Target when it comes to great deals on clothing and accessories. For Home Decor I definitely love a good Target run. I’m past due for a shopping spree since I have gift cards to spend. Looking forward to pairing together some cute Spring ‘fits and planning for Summer when I go to Delaware in June.

Food is another interest of mine. I work in a grocery store so I’m around food all the time and I do love eating out and getting coffee at whatever hip and trendy local cafe I can find. Look for my next restaurant review very soon at the eating establishment of my choice. The Kitchen on Main in Ligonier and Guy Fieri’s restaurant inside the Live! Casino are on my list and I’ve been waiting to try them.

Coming to the blog tomorrow I will be posting my first Self-Care Saturday blog post. Self-care has its own definition. It doesn’t have to be a spa day but it can be whatever you want it to be. It could be something as simple as that book you picked up and started to read, or even a walk around the lake on a sunny Spring day. 2023 has so far been about growth and continuing to love myself.

If I didn’t learn to love myself, I would likely have dropped the gender nonconforming adventures completely and that would have been a shame because I’ve been told that I am an inspiration to a lot of people.

I just got a MarcoPolo this evening from my cousin Katie and it was Patrick thanking me for the gift cards (he and his little brother Henry got Chick Fil A while their parents got Starbucks). All thanks for Katie and Brendan gifting me their laptop so I am able to work more on my blog and do other things. Since I posted my top ten of 2022 before Christmas I did not include this. However, it was one of the best things to happen for me in the last year.