Well, it was a warm February to say the least, plus it was one of the least snowiest. I hope that’s not a sign of what’s come in March. Anyway, onto this recap of last month.

Looking back at Feburary, it was a stressful one for my family as Benny went back into the hospital week before Valentine’s Day. I don’t like to go into detail in the blog out of respect for my family but he has improved since this most recent hospital stay. I’ve been to Children’s Hospital a few times to see him as well. All this stress weighs on my mom as she worries about my aunt and thus it’s brought down to me.

I had a good report at the doctor on Valentine’s Day. My blood pressure was 130/80. Better than it was two years ago when I was at heart attack/stroke level. The medication has done its job.

One of the big highlights was not using my gift cards like I originally planned, but returning to the gym and scheduling a regular exercise routine. I’m going Thursdays to Mondays, keeping Tuesday and Wednesday open for meetings and blog prep. For now, I’m only doing cardio and running on the treadmill as well as stepping on the elliptical. The latter really works up a sweat and gets my heart rate going.

After having not gone to Planet Purple much since I’ve had my membership (because I used my car so much traveling to job sites at WIS and could never made time) and not at all the last three years (due to COVID), I’ve definitely made up for lost time. I’ll be looking at some new Spring fits (maybe today) and some activewear. I keep saying that but now I’m ready.

Last night marked my first back to back church attendance since September 2021. There are reasons why I walked away and I don’t want to keep defending myself forever. I said things a little differently then and I worried I wasn’t welcome but since I made my return to Cornerstone in December (when Deb invited me to the Christmas show), I realize that was me overthinking things and being insecure.

Gender nonconformity and non-binary is staying. In a weird way, it gives me the confidence to keep this blog going. It’s its own good luck charm.

I got my food reviews done for February. I went to Kings for breakfast and Chili’s for dinner. I’ll blog Eat’n Park and Kings this month since it’s now Lent and I want to try some seafood options. That means Whale of a Cod is coming.

I finished Queer Eye and just went back to The Office and started Parks and Rec on Peacock. I plan on watching Bel-Air as well.

Did I do what I get what I wanted out of February? No, but I had a very productive month, for what it’s worth. Grade: B

Just like that, February has come and gone. We will be in March this week and that means it’s time to look ahead to the new month. We are going to be closer to Spring but still not out of Winter just yet. Here’s a look at what will coming up this month.

I finally have my exercise schedule down. Just getting out of the house when I could be sleeping, and driving there, is its own victory. With Tuesdays and Wednesdays usually reserved for Toastmasters meetings, I figure working out Thursday through Monday makes more sense. For now, I’ll make good use of my time at Planet Purple and save the walks outside for the weather warms up.

Adding to that, I’ll begin to eat more fruits and veggies on my breaks at work. I can pick up fruit from the produce end cap at Giant Eagle, plus I can go through a bag of carrots in a week. I’ll still buy my Marie Callender bowls but eat them in moderation or have them for lunch. Might be time for more apples as well. I’ll eat what’s in season.

If time allows, I’ll be in attendance at the division speech contests. Division C will hold theirs on March 11 in Punxsutawney at the Cobblestone Inn and Suites. The contests will be hybrid so I can watch them online if I want to. The hybrid option comes in handy now that I’m finding time to exercise again and getting back to church. The division contests will run on Saturdays through April 1.

It’s back to church for me after a year and a half long hiatus. Before we get into it, let’s just say I was dealing with a lot of stress in 2021 on top of all the good things that occurred. Things were changing at WIS as the news of the merger was getting more and more closer. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stick around any longer. I kept it on the down low as I didn’t want anyone to think bad of the company. Eventually I needed to take time away from church as I was trying to adapt to my new routine at Giant Eagle. I went online a few times in 2022 but like a retired football player, it was good to be away from the game (in this case, church) for a year before beginning my studio career.

I went back to Cornerstone at Christmastime when my friend Deb gave me a ticket to the Christmas show. She attends the church services on Saturday nights and recently, started working with my sister. I visited early in February and then went back on Saturday night. It’s fitting that I’m back and the sermon series has us studying the book of James. This Saturday will mark my first back to back church attendance since September of 2021 (just as the changes in my life were beginning to take place). I want to say I’ll stay through Easter but I know it’s safe to say that I’m back for good. I’ll still make other church visits as well.

March will also include some spring cleaning as I get rid of some clothes I don’t wear, while using my gift cards to buy some new jeans (or pants) and activewear. Now that I’m a week in and have a plan to exercise falling into place, it’s time to do some serious shopping. Also, I’m going to use my Amazon gift card and find a webcam for my laptop so I’m able to attend online Toastmasters meetings when the situation calls for it.

As for TV, Queer Eye is done and you’ll see my top ten episodes next week on this blog. It’s back to Dunder Mifflin and so I’ll be watching season six of The Office on top of reading my Office books and listening to the podcasts. I’m also starting Parks and Recreation as well as Bel Air season two, so it’ll be Peacock for me for the foreseeable future.

This week I finally started the exercise routine I was talking about doing. Exercise is the number one answer when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions. It’s also the number one answer to resolutions most people don’t keep. The gyms are packed right after New Year’s and then by February 1 they’re like, what happened?

It was great to get back into it after having not been to the gym regularly since before COVID (I went once last September but it was a fluke visit). I’ve walked occasionally at the local parks and I will do that again once the weather gets warmer (Twin Lakes and Mammoth Park as well as Cedar Creek are all on my list). I’m on my feet every night at work stocking shelves and walking from aisle to aisle.

Critics will lament that the numbers aren’t good and that I should be doing more. Going off the comments I got last night, just going to the gym and doing something is a huge accomplishment. The fact that I’m up and moving is more important. Most people want to reap the benefits now rather than later, and naysayers will run with that.

Remember that everyone starts somewhere, success requires patience, and all great things really do take time.

I have a plan in place for next week as I put more time in on the treadmill and the stepper. I will do more cardio and exercise some of my core muscles as well. I’ll also get on the exercise bike (mostly to wrap up my gym time).

Tonight’s James the Food Slayer takes me to Chili’s in Greensburg in Greengate Center. This is the area formerly known as Greengate Mall (still well missed blue locals even 20 years later). I will be grading tonight’s experience and then to close, reminisce a little bit on the old mall. I’ll also post food pics.

Tonight I ordered the three course meal deal. With this you get a drink, appetizer, and entree. This deal starts at $10.99. For my drink, I ordered the mango iced tea and for my soup, the chicken enchilada soup. For my entree, I ordered the 6 oz. Sirloin. This came with steamed broccoli and loaded mashed potatoes (came with bacon bits and green onions).

When I paid the check, I was given the option of taking a survey to discuss my experience. As I walked into the restaurant, the hostess quickly seated me. It helped that it wasn’t busy. I was given excellent service and taken care of. I was happy to order the meal deal since I already had the mango iced tea in hand. They even gave me the option to pay my check at the table so I was able to get in and get out.

Service: A+

Lots of great options on the menu. First page has all the popular drinks and even what goes with the meal. If you’re calorie conscious they have it listed with what you order. Be prepared to drop at least $20 if you’re eating solo. Eating out is more expensive than it used to be but that’s the way of the world post-COVID due to higher costs. That as well as supply chain issues and people still being wary of eating out amongst crowds.

Menu: B

My food came in a decent amount of time. I wasn’t waiting forever and my server was patient to give me time as I pored over the options. My drink was well-filled and the mango tea was very flavorful. The appetizer (the chicken enchilada soup) was filling and I almost had to ask for the recipe. The entree was good but the portions could have been a little bigger for the price. However, I get it that a good steak dinner will cost you. Overall though, I was still pretty satisfied.

Quality: A-

Closing off the blog, I wanted to look back on this land that used to be Greengate Mall. People have posted pictures that highlight where the mall stood in comparison to what is there now. For example, Walmart should be where JCPenney once stood. Many great memories were made here when it was Greengate and I wish they’d have kept it up a little more over the years leading up to its eventual demise. At least it wasn’t left to rot away like Century III is.

I remember that day very well. It was months in the making. I planned out my shopping trip and got inspiration from my adopted family. I was also inspired by one of my former WIS coworkers who also had a cute Coach purse.

Today’s Fashionable Friday is all about my love for designer bags or, I’m not ashamed to say it, purses. This all started in early 2021, as I was eyeing up a cute bag I was interested in buying. Coach would always show up in my sponsors on Facebook (one of the few sponsors that doesn’t annoy me). I would get on to the website, preferably Coach Outlet, and do some online shopping. Before long I was wowed by some of the bags I saw. It didn’t take me to know what I wanted to buy.

I had some inspiration behind my interest in Coach. It’s not that what sparked my interest, but who sparked my interest. I worked with someone at my old job who carried a Coach purse and she got me hooked. This is the same girl I had an innocent crush on during my final years at WIS. I started posting pictures of the bag I was interested in purchasing and my adopted Momma and fashionable sister encouraged me to buy it.

While talking on Facebook, I thought about what to say if anyone raised an eyebrow as to why I was buying something like that. Sara told me,, “Don’t be ashamed. Be proud. Fashion is nothing to be ashamed of.” Paula fell in love with my bag when I showed it off at Sara and Rob’s wedding in May of 2021. My non binary journey was just getting started around this time.

Since then, I’ve purchased a few more bags and I do have a Michael Kors set in mind. It’s a 3-in-1 that includes a tote and two clutches. What can I say, I’m spoiled. A Pittsburgh foodie who I follow on Facebook encouraged me to buy it, which I will someday. If I go to the Spring conference, I might just do that.

I also own a Coach crossbody bag (which I gave to my Mom when she retired from her job in the Summer of 2021). Sara and her mom also bought me a little furry pink crossbody with a chain strap as part of my 40th birthday present. I’m going to get a rattan purse for the summer (fingers crossed we’ll still be able to go to Delaware this summer). If anything, it’ll be nice to take with me on other upcoming summer adventures which I’ll post to the blog.

I had to step away from my love of bags when I was interviewing for new jobs in the Fall of 2021 as I departed WIS for Giant Eagle. Fortunately, I’ve come to learn that Giant Eagle is an LGBTQ friendly company to work for. Also, my mother is starting to turn a corner and has become a little more accepting as of late. I know I have the rest of my family (blood and adopted) as a support system.

Today is the day I will publish my 400th blog post on this platform! As happy as I am to reach this milestone, it wasn’t easy to get here. I was on 398 last Tuesday and hit a wall the last week with family stuff coming up; as well as me, doubting my non-binary lifestyle once again and falling into a funk (seriously, why can’t I just live my gorgeous life without feeling guilty in my mind); and, just not being sure what to do about this post.

Regardless of what happened in the last week, I am happy to achieve this milestone. I took part in the Area Contest Monday night. I placed third in Table Topics but if one of the winner drops out, I’ll be on my way to Punxsutawney on March 11 for the Divison Contest. Jim Teague, our Sergeant at Arms for Greensburg Toastmasters, won both the Table Topics and International Speech contests and will proudly represent the club on March 11.

I made my list of what I want to accomplish for February and I’m right on target where I want to be. I’ll be shopping around for activewear the next couple of days and using my Target and JCP gift cards. It’ll be back to Planet Fitness for me soon, as well as walking around the local parks when the weather’s nice. That way I can gauge how far I want to walk on the treadmill. For example, if I walk 2.5 miles, I want to match that or double it on an exercise bike or elliptical. Same goes for calories. I want to match the 300 I burned walking or double it. This blog will also have some fitness posts as well.

I have five Queer Eye episodes left in season 6 so you’ll see a blog post on my top ten favorite episodes early in March. I’ve enjoyed the series and am amazed by how talented the “experts” are at helping people. There hasn’t been a dry eye watching what some of them have done to make life better for their heroes.

One instance came when Bobby Berk (design expert) surprised a dog groomer with a new work van after she spent so much time operating from her RV. The Fab Five ended up trashing the old workspace at the end. Spoiler alert: “God Bless Gay”, the season two premiere, will easily be a top three episode. God bless Mama Tammye!

I’ll be back to Dunder Mifflin in March as I start season six of The Office. I quit watching it just as summer began. I didn’t get to the world famous cold open where Kevin drops the chili! I think I’m going to balance the show with the podcasts (Office Ladies and Off the Beat).

Sorry not sorry if these blog posts are half-assed and tend to repeat themselves. I like to make sure I’m working on achieving my goals. This will be another segment on the platform for the middle of the month. Look for more content later this week including Fashionable Friday and Self-Care Saturday.

I chose not to do my Fashionable Friday and Self-Care Saturday segments this week. Apologies if you read my Fashionable Friday blog before I took it down. I just felt that it wasn’t good enough and I want to provide you guys with great content.

I also decided to postpone my Self-Care Saturday blog post because I’m tying it in to another blog post this week. I’ve been reading about Karamo in my Queer Eye book and picking a lot of great tips along the way for living a better life and being a better person. I’ll get to that in Wednesday’s blog.

This past week started out good. I put in a two mile walk at Twin Lakes. My first walk of the year. I had two blog posts done and ready to go and then, things came up. My cousin/nephew was back at Children’s due to his wounds acting up. I don’t blog about Benny’s health issues because that’s personal and plus, I have enough segments on here to keep this blog active without overdoing it.

It did hit me emotionally and threw me off of my game. I was trying on my new shirts I got from Old Navy and the pics I took didn’t turn out as good, hence why I scrapped the Fashionable Friday blog for this week. Maybe if I was open to taking pics in better settings that would work too (I take pics in my room). Once we turn the clocks ahead and the weather warms up, then I’ll be more open to slaying my amazing fashionwear and showing off my new Spring and even Summer ‘fits.

This week made me feel like I was going back to 2022. Last year I struggled with adjusting to my new work routines but eventually I was able to get it down. I was feeling like I wasn’t loved and getting no support at home for my nonconforming lifestyle. The people I depended on in social media were nowhere to be found and that left me in despair as well.

We all have a bad week once in a while. Things don’t turn out the way we expect them to, and we feel that will be a turning point for the rest of the season, or year. But we learn more from failure than we do success. Just because we fell short this week doesn’t mean we give up. Just because we got a bad review doesn’t mean we stop doing what makes us happy.

I’m a fan of Dhar Mann’s channel and, in light of the news about the strike at Dhar Mann Studios, my opinion is that Dhar needs to take his own advice. I’m talking about the messages he puts in his videos. I’ll close off this blog with my advice to him and the quote that best represents me at this time.

To Dhar, many people experience success and then forget about the people that helped get them there.

To me, being successful won’t always make you happy. But being happy will always make you successful.

Karamo Brown is the culture expert on the Netflix reboot of Queer Eye (2018). He is a former social worker and psychotherapist who starred on MTV’s The Real World in 2004. He is the author of three books, Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope; I Am Okay to Feel, and; I am Perfectly Designed. Karamo Brown is also the host of his own talk show, Karamo, which airs on NBCUniversal.

One of my Christmas gifts I received this year was the book that talked about the Netflix series Queer Eye. The title is Queer Eye: Love Yourself, Love Your Life. In it, the show’s Fab Five talk about themselves and provide tips on their line of expertise. For example, Tan talks about fashion while Bobby talks about design. I am in the middle of the book right now, picking up some pointers from culture expert Karamo Brown.

I became a fan of Queer Eye (2018) in September of this past year. Currently I am on season six with five episodes to go. There is a seventh season on the way and that premiere will be sometime soon, hopefully. The Fab Five, as they call themselves, are a tight knit group and their job is help their “hero” make a better life for themselves.

Bobby might redesign a room, living room, or even a patio while Antoni helps that person remember an old recipe or teaches them what wine to pair with a meal. Jonathan does their hair or gives them a facial to help them look more presentable.

Karamo sits down with the “hero” and gets to hear from them. There’s never a dry eye when I’m watching this show because there’s so many moments that make you cry tears of joy. I’ll have a top ten list of my favorite Queer Eye episodes once I wrap up the series in a few weeks.

While reading the most recent chapter, Karamo tells us how to break down in smaller steps what we can do to make a better life for ourselves. Being honest (myself included), most of us don’t know the answer to that question. He also hits on some life skills that we as adults were never really taught in school.

Learn how to budget (your time)

We all need to make a budget for our finances (myself included). But equally as important, we need to make a budget for our time. For example, if we’re taking the time to go to school to better ourselves (just as Karamo was doing), we need to prioritize.

I make a budget of my time every day. How much time do I want to spend on a project or a hobby. When do I want invest my time in my physical or mental health? This is a great thing to do if you want to curb screen time on your phone and use it elsewhere.

Detoxing from your phone

Let’s face it. We’re all guilty of being on our phones too much. The constant scrolling on social media can be a huge time-waster if we’re not careful. It can also have an effect on your mental health if you’re not careful. I know that firsthand.

Charge your phone across the room or, brownie points, outside the room altogether when you go to sleep. It’s possible, trust me.

Leave your phone in the car if you’re eating out. If you’re eating at home, put it in another room altogether. This means less screen time and more conversation. There’s plenty of time to check emails and Facebook notificationsafter dinner. If you really need it with you in the store or the restaurant, just in case of emergency, put it in your purse or in your pocket.

It’s OK to hear the word NO!

Rejection is a part of life. If we get turned down, that God’s way of telling us there’s something better. When one door closes, another door opens.

I wish I looked at rejection that way. I was turned down in a relationship and thought I was in the wrong. I let that decision break me for years and it took a toll on my mental health. I’ve been turned down for jobs before. I let myself think I wasn’t good enough.

I volunteered to be an evaluator for a keynote speaker at a previous Toastmasters meeting. While I got turned down for the evaluator role, this gave me an opportunity to volunteer as Table Topics master. Instead of putting myself down, I made sure my questions would be awesome and get some laughs.

End result: I got many praises from the general evaluator and my other fellow club members, as well as the keynote speaker himself.

I’m going to celebrate a big milestone this week when I publish my 400th blog post. I knew I would make it here one day, but the trip hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been difficult to come up with content much less find a device to write my content on. For the majority of the time I’ve been on this platform, I’ve been sending my blog posts from my phone as well as my tablet. I’ve been meaning to cut down screen time on my phone and I thought sending content from my Kindle would help address that issue but it hasn’t. When I was gifted with a laptop from my cousins, I knew it would be a big turning point for me.

I started blogging regularly under The Slippery Rock Toastmaster name in the Fall of 2019. Some of my favorite posts from then include the ones I wrote when I was struggling to hide the fact that I had a crush on a coworker at my old job. When I deleted this blog and opened my present blog in January of 2020, I took a few of those posts and put them on there. Since opening my platform as the Stylish Traveling DTM in January of 2020, I’ve undergone a few name changes and I think I’m going to change this once more to match my Instagram handle.

2020 was the year of starting over, after we were hit with the COVID-19 pandemic.

What was so great about the last year meant nothing after the pandemic put us on lockdown. Things like social distancing, hand sanitizers, and six feet apart became household terms. I had no choice but to start over. That year was devastating to a lot of people, places, and businesses. It taught us to think about what was most important in life. I got too overconfident after launching the blog and flamed out as 2020 went on.

2021 was a year of new traditions & routines in my life. An eventful year, for sure.

If there’s one word that sums up my 2021, it’s this. Change. From my health to my job, to turning over a new decade of my life, change was a constant for me. As for the blog, I continued to struggle with content early on but began to really catch fire once Summer came. I began to invite people in to my new lifestyle as I became non-binary.

My “sister” and fashion buddy got married and I was invited to the wedding. I had the best birthday of my life as I turned 40. My parents started the next phases of their lives as they retired from their jobs. Before all that, I dealt with a health scare that could have been tragic if not taken care of.

I left my job of 13 years and it was for the best. I walked away from the church because I didn’t feel comfortable being non-binary in that setting. However, I’ve been making a comeback. I published my 300th blog post at the end of the year. I hoped to build off that success as 2021 ended.

2022 taught me to love and accept myself.

I adapted to change in 2022, from my job to the rising cost of gas. I didn’t have my community to fall back on, and almost abandoned completely my gender nonconforming ways. My cousin came through and gave me some words of encouragement and everyone else began pulling for me. I would eventually come back around.

I dealt with mental health issues and depression in 2022, which were brought on mainly because of me and my insecurity and overthinking things. The new job and routine took some getting used to as well. I regressed with the blog because I felt I didn’t have much to say and also, because of limited resources. Despite my struggles last year, 2022 would end well.

Conclusion

2023 has been great so far and that break was just what I needed. There have been a few disappointments but I’m working through them. Taking one step forward and three steps back taught me something better would be coming.

I’m more dedicated to the blog this year because I’m able to budget my time more efficiently. Having a laptop helps too, and that also opens up other avenues as well.

I’ve overcome various roadblocks to reach this milestone. For that I am proud, and it’s only going to get better.

Today’s Self-Care Saturday is coming to you… on a Sunday.

I’ll be talking about mental health and sometimes, you just need to take some time for yourself, hence these self-care blog posts. You may put your heart and soul into helping others and never feel like helping yourself nor do you have the time for it. Eventually, you’re working too hard and burning yourself out. That eventually takes its toll on you and that’s why mental health is important. Reward yourself, sweetie. You deserve it.

Jonathan Van Ness of Queer Eye fame really preaches self-care on the show and that in turn has an impact on your mental health. Of course, his thing is all about making the hero look pretty. All the experts besides Jonathan are all about helping that person better themselves and what they do helps that person improve their mental health and well-being.

Here are five steps that you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing. (Credit to https://www.nhs.uk)

1. Connect with other people

Good relationships are important for your mental wellbeing. They can:

• help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth
• give you an opportunity to share positive experiences
• provide emotional support and allow you to support others.

I did that today by tagging along with my mom and visiting my aunt and Ben at Children’s Hospital. My cousin is dealing with some health issues and is on a long road to recovery. We even got some fresh air outside for a few minutes and were greeted with a few more surprise visitors.

2. Be physically active

Being active is not only great for your physical health and fitness. Evidence also shows it can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

• raising your self-esteem
• helping you to set goals or challenges and achieve them
• causing chemical changes in your brain which can help to positively change your mood.

Starting this week, I’m going to get on a regular exercise routine to improve my physical health by going to the gym a few times a week and going for a walk as the weather allows me to.

3. Learn new skills

Research shows that learning new skills can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

• boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem
• helping you to build a sense of purpose
• helping you to connect with others

Even if you feel like you do not have enough time, or you may not need to learn new things, there are lots of different ways to bring learning into your life.

I took up learning a foreign language last year when I downloaded the Duolingo app on my phone. I originally started out by learning Spanish. Now, I’m teaching myself French, Italian, and German.

I’ve been working on this blog since the beginning of 2020 and have been writing long before that.

I want to get back into photography now that I have a laptop I’m able to store my pictures on.

4. Give to others

Research suggests that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental wellbeing by:

• creating positive feelings and a sense of reward
• giving you a feeling of purpose and self-worth
• helping you connect with other people

It could be small acts of kindness towards other people, or larger ones like volunteering in your local community.

In the past, I’ve volunteered with another local church for Operation Christmas Child, a ministry that sends shoeboxes full of toys and other gifts to less fortunate children at Christmas. We fill up boxes of 15-20 shoeboxes each and load them onto a truck that delivers them all over the world.

5. Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness)

Paying more attention to the present moment can improve your mental wellbeing. This includes your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you.

Some people call this awareness “mindfulness”. Mindfulness can help you enjoy life more and understand yourself better. It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges.