This April started out the same as the last one. Wet and the rivers look as if they’re going to flood again. This weekend once again brings the chance for heavy rain and thunderstorms and that will be followed by snow chances early in the week, though it won’t be much. Temperatures are looking like lottery numbers, at least this weekend and early next week. Alas, such is Spring in Western Pennsylvania. You just have to dress appropriate for whatever day you’re going out. I’ll be going to the gym a few times this week as well as Connellsville.
While this weather is deja vu, this is what you come to expect in April in Southwestern PA. Spring is just doing its thing, and that means rain and a little wet snow. Eventually, warmer air will win out for good and we’ll be spending more time outside.
While I’m beginning this blog by talking about the weather, today’s post is more about mental health. I hope this Spring isn’t deja vu as the weather has been. What I mean by that is the last few years around the time, my emotions have played with me.
In 2022, I was adjusting to my new job at Giant Eagle but at the same time I was feeling ghosted by my biggest supporters in my fashion journey. Eventually I found a co-worker who encouraged me to live my truth in my fashion journey. I suppose that it’s partially my fault as I shouldn’t rely on others for approval. I dealt with adversity for a good part of 2022 before things turned around later in the year. My family and I became very familiar with Children’s Hospital during the summer of that year as my aunt made that place her second home due to my cousin’s health issues.
2023 saw a lot more of the same as 2022. We spent half the year going to and from Children’s to visit Benny. This year was a wave of emotions for all of us as we didn’t know when he would be coming home. It was a Spring that brought devastating wildfires to Canada. The plumes of smoke made their way down to our area making for milky white skies instead of sunshine most days early in the Summer. The lack of sunshine also took its toll on my mental health.
Nothing could be as bad as the attacks on the LGBTQ 🏳️🌈 community over the Bud Light Ad featuring transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney. The right wing talking heads were all up in arms over Bud Light and who Dylan was identifying as. I almost wanted to give up my journey because of what everyone on TV was saying, but eventually I went back to being me. I talked to Mr. Clougherty and he told me I had nothing to worry about. At Summer TLI, I did my thing, rocked my cheetah scarf and Coach purse and was encouraged by my Toastmasters friends not to change for anyone. At least Benny got to experience some time at home that summer before it was back to Children’s in October.
I feel the way I do in the Spring before my mood improves in the Summer and Fall months. While ‘22 and ‘23 presented their challenges, I feel that 2024 was the biggest hurdle for me to clear.
2024 still took us to Children’s, though this time Benny had the surgery that would reveal the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, last year brought with it excitement as I planned to attend the first in person District conference in five years. The Spring brought continued disappointment for me as I continued to feel the need to explain myself. In 2022, I felt ghosted. In 2023, I felt attacked. Last year, it was feeling ignored and unloved. It kept me from enjoying the Spring Conference and even Summer TLI. These feelings of despair lingered into the summer. But like the summer before, I got out of that valley of darkness and had a great autumn season, despite the outcome of the presidential election.
Late in the summer of 2024, I grew in my Toastmasters journey and started to do better at keeping track. I started speaking more at the meetings, scheduling speeches every three weeks between my two clubs. I began to love myself more. Easier said than done even in 2025. Last Spring and Summer felt like the Philadelphia Eagles’ slump in the late 2023 season and foreshadowed their early 2024 season before they got on a roll and won the Super Bowl. This Spring, I’m going to enjoy life at the Spring Conference, nor will I check my phone as often. I’m going to feel confident in my own skin, and continue to embrace my style.
This week I have some Cutie’s trips planned as I am looking forward to their In Bloom Spring menu. I’ll also be visiting Western Maryland Toastmasters, and I’m going to go back to church just in time for Palm Sunday. The wind is at my back and I’m going to enjoy every second of my wonderful life, as well as enjoy rewatching The Office and Gilmore Girls.
Stylish 🍒 