My Mental Health Journey through Adulthood.

On Monday, I highlighted my mental health journey as I talked about my coming out. I also talked about my gender nonconformity which has really come to light over the last few years. While I’ve experienced happiness from it, I’ve also spent a lot of time defending it as some of those close to me have questioned my lifestyle. Others have supported me and encouraged me to keep it going, thinking I could really inspire people with my message.

In today’s blog I’m continuing to talk about my mental health journey. Using some examples to show where my mental health issues have come into play, I’ll continue to share my story and give you something to know me better by.

I enjoyed my college years. I say that now but back then I took them for granted. The first three years I was in Johnstown attending community college and attending HGA. I had my complaints about HGA for the longest time but later on, learned to appreciate it for two reasons. I had many life experiences there and it was there I became independent.

I attended a college transfer fair in October of 2002 and fell in love with Slippery Rock University. Eventually, I made the decision to transfer there and got in the next Spring. Like YouTuber McJuggernuggets and his beloved Psycho Series, my time in college and especially at Slippery Rock was heartfelt and I was sad to see it end. Graduation is a celebration of your life, but I saw it as an end and it took its toll on me.

2006 remains one of the worst years of my life because: I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life and the declining health of my loved ones sent me and my family into a tizzy. My college years were over, I had no real job prospects, and I wasn’t confident showing myself. I settled for a menial job at Kings. I could have used it as a stepping stone and watched it blossom into something bigger. However, I did what I could to get out of there (including attending job fairs and looking for jobs that weren’t for me just to keep up appearances).

It got worse two years later when I denounced ever attending college because it did nothing for me. A past experience with someone came back to haunt me. Her recent good fortune and my reaction to it sent me spiraling even deeper.

I was all set to vote for Barack Obama in the upcoming election and some people from my church found out. I was blackballed for making that decision and voted for McCain out of fear. This experience left me questioning my beliefs. Would I be any less of a believer in Christ if I voted for Barack Obama?

I posted on Facebook that I was sick of my job and wanted to find something better. Management found out and almost fired me on the spot but I lied to keep my job. I applied at WIS a few months later but we didn’t know that was a thing then. All this within the same week in October of 2008.

Too much to talk about when I highlight my 13 years at WIS. I’m not going to name drop anyone, but I dealt with a lot of negativity and anger over those years. The worry over so much little stuff in my workplace even affected my performance serving in higher roles in Toastmasters. But it wasn’t all bad there and I definitely could have handled that better.

As bad of a year as 2008 was for me, the best thing to come out of it for me was my friendship with Paula and her daughters. I still have it to this day and they’ve adopted me into their family. I always think of Rae and Sara like they’re my own sisters.

As hostile as my old work environment could be, I enjoyed the opportunity to get to travel for work and see other parts of our region. I wouldn’t have kept some of the friendships that I have if I didn’t come back.

If working at Giant Eagle didn’t fail the first time, who knows if I’d have started to find myself in the Fall of 2019? Would I have been as fashionable? Would I be slaying it? Gender nonconformity wouldn’t have been a thing and I wouldn’t feel as shunned but not living my best life.

DTM Huddle and Pink Cherry Dress would have been phrases likely not coined. Stylish may have been a thing but not like it is now. I wouldn’t have worn my leopard cardigan but likely a suit or khakis and a golf shirt to Rob and Sara’s wedding. Nothing wrong with that though.

The high school and college run was my best life for a long time but the late 2010s (2017 to the present) has won out. There’s more stories I can share but we’ll save them for another blog.

Bye everyone. ❤️ you.