Last August, I began my magnificent speaking streak in my Toastmasters meetings. It was good therapy for me as I shared my story as it began to elevate my mood, which had been down for most of the year and the first month of Summer. During the summer of 2024, I also began to attend a new Bible Study at the newest coffee shop in town. That place has become my go-to place for great coffee though I love to go anywhere in Greensburg.
Monday night, at the latest edition of Cutie’s Bible Study, I hoped to restart my magnificent walk with God like I did my speech streak. I walked away from the church a few years ago as I needed time to heal and find myself.
On social media last week, I read a post on the Cutie’s Bible Study page. This Monday’s meeting would be different from the others. For me, it brought back memories of my college days, when I began to attend Bible Study while living at the Hiram G. Andrews Center. I’ll be talking about the school in my August 26 speech at Laurel Highlands Toastmasters as I celebrate 25 years since checking into the school and beginning my ascent into higher learning.
From HGAC and the local community college, it was onto Slippery Rock University where I planned to achieve my Bachelor’s Degree. While at “The Rock”, I attended many Campus Crusade meetings and participated in events through the organization. Hearing everyone share their stories brought back memories of when we shared our faith in the inner city part of DC. It also made me think of doing the same thing trying to win souls on the beach at Panama City Beach during Big Break in the mid-2000’s. I enjoyed everyone that went into those events, and didn’t know what to do when college came to an end. Just as I found my stride, it was time to graduate. But I digress as this is starting to veer off course.
I like to joke that if Campus Crusade meetings were their own major, then I might have graduated Magna Cum Laude. I’ve been following God since 2000, giving my life to God the first time in 2001 at a function held at Pitt-Johnstown. But my walk hasn’t really been my own. In all my years, I feel like I’ve gone through the motions. My walk with God has felt like a standard Steelers season with ore than a dash of Tomlin Specials. Monday night had me feeling hopeful that I could start something with God again. I took a break in 2021 when I walked away from the church after a falling out. I was at the onset of major changes occurring in my life. I stayed away for a few years to heal from those hurts (as I just posted at the beginning). I’ve gone back a few times but nothing has stuck. Perhaps, I enjoy licking my wounds.
Keys to victory in getting back into my walk with God include the need to be true to myself, just as I’ve been doing in my gender nonconforming journey. Does that still exist? Yes, it does but another story for another time. I also need to remember to love unconditionally. I think politics has been a major factor in me being away as I’ve felt afraid and even ostracized. I have to beat that urge to change for anyone to please them. Also, I need to keep tabs on my own behavior.
Aside, it was nice to begin the night with an old school worship song by Matt Redman, thus coming back to “The Heart of Worship”.
I had hopes that Monday night was the lift that I needed to start my walk with God again. The seeds have been planted and it’s up to me to make sure that harvest is a success.
Stylish 🍒 