Today is a day to celebrate, just as it will be in a few days and on Saturday at Club Officer Training.
I’ve been putting content on this blog since November 2019. I didn’t know what was going to happen a few months later, no one did. That didn’t diminish my hopes and dreams. Instead of growing the platform too quickly as I did, I look back on 2020 and realize that I could have used my platform to reach out to a world that was hurting. It would have quite a start for this new blogger.
Too big to fail was a phrase we heard too much of back in the Great Recession. At one time, chains built too many stores too quick, and then realized they oversaturated themselves. This blog was just that early in 2020 before COVID brought it back down to earth. It also brought me down as I was just off the high of late 2019 (but I believe that fall from grace was coming). However, I was damned if I did, damned if I didn’t when I came back to WIS early that year after testing the waters of a new workplace. I finally left my old job late in 2021 because I knew I was ready and turning 40, I needed a change.
When you look at how much I’m writing this year and compare it to a couple of years ago, you ask yourself what the difference is. I didn’t have the technology would be the obvious answer but my cousins came through and gifted me with an awesome laptop. It was also a matter of how I was feeling. Did I regret some decisions I made the year before? Was my journey worth it since I felt I was hearing crickets? I’ve gone through my good days and bad days. I’m influenced by the opinions of others, be it family, friend, or famous person, but eventually what’s said doesn’t always stick. However, the recovery takes longer and, for me, is still going on. The people who think they’re helping you may inflict more damage upon you than the bully would themselves.
I’ve been on my “fashion journey” since 2021 (it’s more that than an LGBTQ journey). For far too long, I’ve relied on the opinions of others for approval and when I don’t hear it or read about it, I get discouraged. While the approval helps, I’m also not giving myself credit or loving myself enough. Even as I’ve blogged more this year, there are days I’m still sad because I feel I’m not good enough. I look to Facebook and Instagram for attention and when I don’t get it, I feel broken and discouraged. That hindered my enjoyment of the Spring Conference this past May.
But despite everything that has gone on in the world (and in my head), I’m still here and excited for what’s to come in the days ahead. Here’s to 600 blog posts and many more!
Stylish 🍒 