Sometimes the decisions you make that are for the best, are the ones that aren’t so easy to make.
After feeling like I’ve been living my best life practicing my gender nonconformity, I made the difficult decision to abandon it. For those of you who jumped on the bandwagon because of my nonconforming adventures in my fashion, I hope you’ll continue to be on my journey with me. If not, I’ll know who my real friends are.
It’s 2022 and things are different. I gave this the old college try and for that I am proud of me. If I feel like I failed, it’s because I wasn’t trying.
If you were inspired by my journey over this past year, thank you. If I disappointed you by stepping away from this, I’m sorry. Please continue to follow me on my blog and on Instagram as show off some new fashions for summer and into Fall.
You can jump on my family or the church for leading me to this decision but it’s not on either of them. I came to the conclusion that this just wasn’t appealing to me anymore.
Gender nonconformity was a great experiment for me to try and I’m happy I went through with it for a while. I needed that time to find myself, we all do sometimes. I gave it a valiant effort and spent time and even money to fulfill that goal.
I want to get back into the church and for that it’s best for me to just be me. I value those in the LGBTQ+ community and I thought I could test the waters as well. I don’t do well under pressure and get flustered very easily. I was loyal to Cornerstone for six years serving in the welcome center.
Things went downhill when I started to dress non traditionally and came to a head in September. I even shopped online at JCPENNEY and ordered some men’s clothes to just to please the ones weren’t on board with my gender nonconformity. Eventually I left Cornerstone and took the time to find myself. This was the longest that I’ve been away from church since 2006.
I knew I’d have to lay low with it when I started to look for another job in November. My parents also worried that I was setting myself up to be ridiculed, even though Giant Eagle and Goodwill are 🏳️🌈 friendly.
After talking with my coworkers who are Christians themselves, I knew something in my life was missing these past eight months. I’ve been going to church and involved in some kind of Christian fellowship since I started college back in 2000. I’ve listened to Contemporary Christian music since 2002 and was heavily involved in Slippery Rock’s campus ministry when i attended there. After 20 years, I’m right back to where I started from.
That will change tonight when I attend church tonight for the first time since the beginning of the year (I tried out Community Church in Harrison City and might go back again, but haven’t been a regular churchgoer since I left Cornerstone last fall). It’ll be remote but I am going to check out Allegheny Center Alliance Church this evening. The Senior Pastor there has ties to Cornerstone and I have a few friends who attend there as well, including a Toastmaster.
I plan to check out a few more churches, as well as come back to Cornerstone (even if just to visit). Can’t forget Greater Johnstown Christian Fellowship either.
It’s great to be back. To new beginnings (or old, depending on how you look at it).
Stylish 🍒 