Recently my mother brought to my attention one of my former coworkers from my old job. He worked there in the early 2010’s and, to say the least, was not very nice to me. After he left at the end of 2013, he ran into trouble with the law. Without getting into it due to respect for privacy, he found himself up the creek without a paddle.
He made feel ashamed for who I was as a person. He felt he was doing me a favor, but he wasn’t. The reason I bring this person up is because I felt I came into my gender nonconformity at the right place and the right time in 2019.
After so many years where I struggled not to internalize things at work, I was finally at a good place in my life and at WIS. With a pandemic looming just a year away, the good feeling wouldn’t last long. But I had what I needed right there and it was more than enough.
While you may think my gender nonconformity journey began with the Ashtabula trip in September of 2019, things came to light then. It didn’t begin in 2015 either. I wasn’t quite ready but I did get some style points for my little Amazon crossbody (until Dad had a problem with me wearing it and I was scared into submission).
Believe it or not, you have to go all the way back to the mid 1990s to hear of the first tales of my gender nonconformity journey. So this adventure is almost 30 years old. It was also big during my high school years well into college. I just didn’t know it at the time. You may think I had homosexual tendencies. But for a long time I kept quiet about it.
Had I started this journey back up in 2013, it wouldn’t have lasted. My coworkers (albeit a few of them) would have ripped me to shreds. He already made fun of me for my selfies that I took in 2010. I felt so bad from the impact of that teasing so I gave up. I imagine he’d bash my blog too had I started then.
I came back onto my journey at the right time, but I also had the right people there to support me on my adventure. Ashley and Maura were there to give me encouragement along the way, my sisters Rae and Sara were there to love and support me and tell me to “be me”. All my friends on Instagram have encouraged me not just on the gender nonconformity journey but also in my mental health journey. It’s why I am able to connect with great local Instagram bloggers like thebombshellsuite and joyfullyyoursamanda. I’ve also had the right girl to inspire me as well.
It was an innocent crush in the fall of 2019 when Emily wowed me with her fashion sense when we were in Ashtabula for work, rocking a pink dress. She became an inspiration for me to dress more stylish. Eventually, I fell in love with fashion and mentioned everything to Maura when I came out in October of 2021. It was our last day as an office before merging with RGIS.
I feel I’ve been living my best life with my gender nonconformity. My place of employment is one that is LGBTQ+ 🏳️🌈 friendly. But my family has expressed concern. They raised me to not be ridiculed and they’re worried that I’ll set myself up for that again if I continue embarking on this journey.
I was picked on a lot in my elementary and junior high years and even while I was working at WIS. I understand my parents’ concern, even though my cousins are mostly on board with it.
But it’s 2022.
I’m happy.
I’m living my best life.
I’m not making destructive decisions like doing drugs or being an alcoholic. I’m not living recklessly. I’m taking care of myself since my health scare.
That’s all that matters.
Bye everyone. ❤️ you.
Stylish 🍒 