Hiding A Crush (from October)

This is from October but this explains how I’ve been feeling the last couple of months.

10/24/19–Today on break I opened up. We were at our Dollar General in rural Carmichaels in Greene County. But first…

I’ve been patiently waiting to move back home, but had to wait on my sister to have the rugs put in. Once I move back home and get settled in, I’ll feel a little more at ease.

However, the loneliness has begun to get to me. It’s been five months since Grandma fell and eventually passed away. Some days are better than others, but lately it’s been hard.

In the last month, I’ve also been fighting back a crush at my workplace. But I’m not going to admit that it is a crush. I don’t want to betray the trust of one of my good friends in the process.

We were on an overnight in Ashtabula last month. After counting the Lowe’s that afternoon, we had checked into our rooms at the local Red Roof we were staying at. We met up in Mark and Twan’s room waiting to go to dinner.

Two of the girls from Uniontown walked into the room. One was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. The other was wearing a pink dress. The blonde looked stunning and it’s been hard for me to forget that night ever since. I knew that Emily liked Chase but I’ve been smitten with her for the last month.

I’ve been lonely for most of the summer and seeing her all dressed up that night set off those feelings. It didn’t help that I was wearing gym shorts and a T-shirt. It didn’t matter to anyone but it did to me. The loneliness I’d been dealing with exacerbated things too.

I was sad 😞 over the recent loss of loved ones within the past year. Seeing Chase happy with Emily made me realize how lonely 😔 I really am. I never told Maura that day because I didn’t trust her to keep a secret; plus her, Ashley, and Chase are thick as thieves.

Those five minutes I got it off my chest today didn’t seem like much. For Maura to listen to me made me feel good. I thanked her at the end of the day before I went home and we hugged. I told her and Ashley ” 💕 you” as Maura always does with me. We would make plans to hang out soon.